robot: i don’t understand. what is… love?
scientist: oh… well. i. love is-
robot: ahahaha i’m just fucking with you. anyway i found some cool swords online i want you to buy for me
Protagonist now remembers key facts about important people. He no longer develops convenient amnesia between cutscenes.
Protagonist now has a cooldown on certain adverbs. Adverbs have been buffed by 30% to compensate.
Developer note: Adverbs are important to writing but they are sometimes overused. This change keeps adverbs relevant while encouraging the use of adjectives and verbs.
The horse now has a name.
Deuteragonist snark power has been increased to 150, up from 75.
i support robot fucking but not sexbots which might be a weird stance to take overall but im of the firm belief that u shouldnt be in a relationship w/ a robot if it doesn’t have the ability to dump u.
this is the funniest gif i’ve seen all week what the fuck is going on
the best part is this isn’t even HALF the relentless bullshit insanity that goes on in robot sumo wrestling, a sport where the contestants are all hyperfast robots with scoop attachments and preprogrammed moves.
(this one wants to be a beyblade when it grows up)
the idea is to include as many unique moves as you can, to make your shrieking deathbot difficult to counter
or dodging. that works too.
also, some of the speed demons have… unorthodox attachments to fool other bot’s sensors
WIIINGS MOTHERFUCKERRRRRRR
robot sumo is also a sport where spectators may end up taking a small robot to the shins if they aren’t careful.
You know what I want more of? Variety in aliens. No, I don’t mean more designs for alien species. I mean variety within a species. They always seem to have the same government, the same culture, the same religion, the same language. Come on, humans don’t work that way!
“Say, there’s a Qualar over there. What are they saying?”
“No idea.”
“What?”
“That’s a Kinzian Qualar. I’m a Surolian Qualar. You’d have just as much luck understanding them as I would. You’re lucky I even speak Human.”
“Human isn’t a language.”
“What?”
“Carl, we’ve been speaking Russian. There’s also Arabic, French, English–about a thousand others–”
“HOW DO YOU HAVE SO MANY LANGUAGES YOUR PLANET IS TINY.”
My favorite part about this is that the alien is named “Carl.”
My plan to create a perfectly flat and level Kansas by moving 5,501 cubic miles of earth from west to east. It’s the ideal Kansas. Still some details to work out about rivers, roads, etc. Watch out for the 900-foot cliff bisecting Kansas City.
I’d love to see some kind of ridiculous supervillain revealing THIS as his grand plan while the heroes just kind of blink like “really? THIS? This is what you’ve been building up to?”